Friday, May 30, 2008


It is funny how the world works. In many ways, I have no regrets but at the same time I have loads. It is hard for me to differentiate which of the regrets are real and which are just 'what ifs'.

One of my major regrets is that I chose to teach. I have regretted that decision for so long and that's not to say I haven't enjoyed aspects of teaching but on the whole it's not something I ever envisioned myself doing. I used to feel that I had no choice in what happened in my life because dad would always shake his head and direct me to something he thought was more appropriate. Which, in his mind, was the more appropriate option and generally was a good option - but not always necessarily the best option for me. Dad forgets that I am 24 and have 'younger' opinions than him. It's either dad's way or it's a stupid idea.

On the other hand, had I of not done teaching I probably would have ended up with a job I really enjoyed and wouldn't have felt the desperate need to escape and probably would have kept London as a pipe dream instead of turning it into a reality.

Prime example of one of those things I'm not sure I regret or not. I don't think I regret teaching because I have learnt so much from it that I wouldn't have learnt had I of been happy from the start. Not sure if this is making sense or not?!

I don't regret going to London and living over there. In fact, I am proud that I had the courage to go in the first place. People have asked whether I am disappointed because I didn't stay over there longer. I'm not disappointed because at the end I was getting so unhappy. Not because I missed home but... more because my house was too big and crazy and I was starting to get over sharing a room with another person. I absolutely hated supplying over there because the kids were CRAZY and going to a different school every day drove me nuts. I also hated my agency because they just did not look after their teachers very well. They were great at the start but went downhill in the last 4 months and everyone who worked through them was noticing. Yeah, I could have gone back when I was meant to but then I wouldn't have stayed longer in Australia and had this 6 week teaching block which made me realise that I really don't want to teach anymore!

I have some idea of what I'd like to do but who knows if I will get that job because I don't have experience and I don't want to go back to study. But, I spend so much of my time planning and analyzing that you know what - I DON'T CARE what happens because I am sick to death of being preoccupied with crap that I just end up not enjoying anything.

I spent so much time analyzing the what ifs of Canada that when I finally decided on my ORIGINAL fucking plan that it is too damn late to do what I originally wanted to do. So, I have decided to take a deep breath and see what happens when I go with the flow of things rather than try to second guess myself.

Too many decisions to think about right now so I am off!

Sunday, May 25, 2008


OH MY GOODNESS! UK tax is a nightmare without all the right forms that I need but cannot obtain because I'm not in the UK anymore!

I have been sending emails back and forth with HMRC to determine what documents I need and how to go about getting them but by the time I get all these documents I won't even be in Australia to USE them. There is no way that I am letting my UK tax get eaten up by the UK government though. I plan on claiming it even if it kills me!

It isn't really that difficult, it is just frustrating because I need these forms and conversing over email to get all this sorted takes time because you have to wait for them to get back into the office and read the email, reply and then they need to wait for MY reply so as you can imagine - it is taking forever.

I thought I had all of the right documents ready and then I re-read one of the emails from HMRC and it mentioned a document I don't have - but ISS Group, who is my employer, said I don't need that particular form. If I am confusing YOU imagine how I feel!

It will all work itself out, it always does, but it is just going to take time and it is going to be a pain in my ass. It will all be worthwhile when I receive my tax though! Going directly through HMRC also means that I will not have to pay any agency fees... Bonus!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Why Melbourne?

For what reasons did I decide to stay in Melbourne for again?

* The shitty weather
* The petrol prices
* The politics of CSC

I am almost ready to go back and get out of here again. I am loving the fact that I am seeing all my friends and the normality of things is great but I am ready to go. I am still searching for that something. I have no idea what that something is but I am not ready to be at home just yet. I want to go and visit my mum. I want to go to Canada and snowboard. I want to volunteer in an orphanage in Ecuador.

In the back of my mind though, I have this nagging voice saying 'oh but Simone, you need to go back to work. You need to live a normal life.' I hate that voice. It is the voice of reason and I don't like what it is saying. Actually, it is the voice of my dad. Ah ha! There we go - pinned the reason why I am so eager to leave this country again. I hate being dictated and even though he has learnt he can't dictate anything in my life now, I still hear that voice.

I am excited about Canada after reading Kirsty's blog and hearing what she has been up to. I had forgotten that excited feeling that you get when you start a new adventure but thanks to Kirsty for bringing it back. I think my mind has been too preoccupied with other things to even think about Canada.

Anyway 2 more months in Melbourne and then travel and Canada. Exciting times ahead.

Monday, May 5, 2008


My very first post being back in Australia! Wow, so much has happened in the past month that I don't know where to begin. It has been amazing being back home and I had been looking forward to coming home since August last year. Strange really because I should have been immersed in the London life but really, I was a little bit sad. Don't get me wrong, I have had the best time ever in London and have loved every second of it and am looking forward to getting back there to do the touristy thing but to be honest, I was getting sick of the artificial environment.

Jade kept talking about this artificial environment which I didn't believe at first but then she kind of convinced me that it is true to some extent, especially now that I'm home and I hear from none of the 'friends' I have made in the UK. I guess because I kept thinking to myself that I would be coming home in April that I didn't need proper friends in London and didn't try as hard as I could have to establish good friendships so that was slack on my behalf. At the same time, the friendships that were made, especially the friendships I thought were strong and solid, have proved to be nothing more than a lie.

It's amazing how easily I have slipped back into my life here and have found that it is exactly the same as it was before I left. The only thing that has changed is me and my perceptions of things. Other people may not see this though but I see it really clearly.

Anyway it has taken me weeks to finish this post so I think I'm going to press 'Publish Post' now otherwise I never will! More soon enough I'm sure : )